Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Fool Me Twice




Dear Project Runway,

It's been awhile since our last correspondence. I know I ripped you a new one and I'm sorry if I came off as a harsh bitch. However, I still stand behind my criticisms of you and your less than stellar four season.

With that said, I will bow down to you for your fierce decision to crown Christian as the king (or queen) of the fashion heap. But honestly, was there ever any doubt he'd win? No one ever came close. Not the constant draper Rami or the always uber stressed out Jillian.

And I even appreciate you including spicy Victoria Beckham, who, if I was a betting woman, would have invited herself to the Bryant Park festivities anyways since she desires desperately to be everywhere and in most cases, succeeds.

But the purpose of this letter is not to wax poetic about your season four finale.

No. I've got a bigger and badder bone to pick with you.
Your deflection from Bravo to Lifetime.

When I said get it together and make it work, I was just quoting your best asset and the always loquacious Tim Gunn. I didn't mean get it together and move it over to another channel! If any move was deemed necessary by your people (I'm looking at you, Weinsteins) then it should be to NBC, not to some channel which caters to middle aged housewives and obese shut-ins.

Now instead of neighboring hits like Top Chef, Inside the Actors' Studio and My Life on the D-List, you'll be among such gems as Your Mama Don't Dance (yes, that's a real show), reruns of The Golden Girls, and countless movies of the week, like, get this, Crimes of Passion: She Woke Up Pregnant.

Now, you have every right to jump ship if you so please. I get it. The entertainment biz is a crazy world and I'm sure you have your reasons for the change. But don't think NBC will be as understanding as me. In fact, as I'm sure you already know, they've filed a suit against you.

And can you blame them? Your sketchiness is off the radar. Secret negotiations with Lifetime all while stringing along NBC? Not fair, Project Runway.

I guess I shouldn't be too shocked about your behavior. I mean, just the other day I went mental over the shady dealings involving a remake of Spaced. But that's neither here nor there. All I'm saying is I guess Hollywood wouldn't appear as shiny and bright without its dark underbelly of shadiness.

Well, like I said in my last letter, I'm not ready to give up on you yet. But you've only got one more chance before I'll have to officially say "Auf Wiedersehen".

(Reluctantly) love,
Nicole

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